My (friend's) Big Fat Spanish Wedding

The beauty of being integrated in a foreign country is that you get invited to intimate family events, such as my friend's wedding, which was the first I'd ever attended in Spain. It was an eye-opener, a stomach opener, and a marathon partying session.

Everyone descended upon Villacarrillo the night before, to have tapas at 10 p.m. and then surprise the bride with a 1 a.m. serenade on the street, below her window. Very romantic!

It was at this point that I discovered how crazy Spanish people are; I already knew this, but I soon discovered how much more so. After the serenade, everyone (including the bride and groom) wandered over to a relative's car garage to party some more. At 2 a.m. Despite many having to get up in the morning. Despite the wedding being that afternoon.  Despite some having to read at the mass. We sang our hearts out on the street all night and early morning, causing hoarse throats and worry about how some were going to do their church speeches (we joked that they could record it now and do a "Milli Vanilli" at the mass).

I drowsily woke up at 3 p.m. the day of the wedding, ate lunch with my friend's family, and then took a siesta (don't judge, it's practically a necessity to handle the partying in this country). I then got dolled up for the mass, which I ended up missing. I didn't realize that my friends, and many guests, don't attend the mass. Rather, they show up for the rice throwing, then head to the reception hall for the REAL party.

Photos and the "rice launch"

There were TWENTY items on the dinner menu, all delicious. The wine and beer flowed freely while we ate, although I kept it in check because we had a surprise for the bride. We hid behind a door, and after the cake was cut with a sword, the groom's sisters and I came out with our instruments and performed "No puedo vivir sin ti" by Los Ronaldos, while the groom and guests serenaded the bride.

My Nancy Wilson moment

The rest of the party was a blur of photos, caricatures done by artists, a chocolate fondue fountain, open bar, and dancing to spanish music. We then went to a different bar and, after a couple of rounds, I staggered home early...at 7 a.m. (yes, that's considered early by some). All in all, it was a fantastic party and memorable first-time weekend wedding. I'm so grateful to have been a part of it!

The Family Experience in Torre del Mar

I'm not very close to my family. Many of my Canadian friends are the same. It's the opposite in Spain, and sometimes people here feel sorry for me. They assume that I'm walking around sad all the time, because I'm so far away from my family. It actually doesn't really bother me, as I've been independent my whole life, but once in a while I attend family events here that highlight the divide between my family relationships, and families in Spain.

I visited a friend in Torre del Mar, a small "district" near Málaga, along the coast. Upon arrival, she announced that we were going to her aunt's birthday. All of the family would be there. She felt sorry for dragging me to the birthday, but I told her I didn't mind because I love being involved in intimate spanish family events. It's always interesting to note that, while there are obvious cultural differences in terms of language or food, families all over the world are the same. You have the cool uncles, the overbearing mothers, the caring aunts, and the incomprehensible grandparents. Adults laugh about their generation, while children roll their eyes. Nieces ask for only a tiny piece of cake and groan upon receiving the hugest slice ever. Younger cousins excitedly ask to join in on the adults' plans to go on a pub crawl, only to be shushed by their parents.

That night, when I thought we would go out dancing, my friend suggested a game of beach volleyball instead. At 10:30 p.m., which surprised me. Of course, I was in. I may be the shortest girl in Jaén but I LOVE volleyball. I was all over the place, in a very competitive way. Good thing only one cousin had B1 english and understood my swearing (“Oh my gosh, she said 'shit'!”).

Despite volleyball, I still had time to get my drink on.

The next morning, an aunt invited me to a morning of churros and shopping, while my friend was working. I heartily agreed, and we spent the next few hours talking and laughing while traversing the town centre.

 

This vacation was a nice quiet affair, in that I spent time getting to know my friend better, and getting to know her family. They treated me in a lovely way, so much that I hope to see them again. Who knows, could be another family reunion!

Living at Home with Family in Spain

On the weekend, I went to my pueblo and slept at a friend's house. In the morning, I woke up to the most interesting sensation: I felt at home. The quiet comfort of the bedroom I was in, rock music eminating from the bathroom as someone showered, the clink of spoons stirring pots as the day's lunch was being prepared in the kitchen, a low murmur in the livingroom coming from a film on the television. The sounds soothed me, and I felt relaxed knowing there were people in the house.
Quite often, when I've lived with friends or alone, I wake up to an empty apartment. I never realized, until that morning, how much I missed waking up to sounds of people in the house. The last time I heard noise upon waking, I was living with a boyfriend. Before that, with my family. All very long ago.
Sure, my Spanish friends that live with their family aren't necessarily happy about it. In most cases, the economic situation has forced them to move back home. They may see my lot in life and feel envy. But the grass is always greener. I stay at friends' houses and receive fantastic conversation and the best meals ever prepared by motherly hands.
In Canada, my friends and I had "Orphans' Thanksgiving", where instead of gathering with family, we would head to someone's house with food and wine and have dinner together. It's widely acknowledged that many single people cannot, or don't want, to be with family during the holidays. As a person who has celebrated this way for years, I look at the family situation in Spain with envious eyes sometimes. Luckily, I have friends who are willing to extend their family to include me, and I am grateful for that.